Dirty Apple
by bmsnakia361991
Summary: A short one-shot about Mello doing something stupid while glaring at Near. He really needs to learn to pay attention. Matt's POV.


So, I tried my hand at a comedy. This is actually a true story courtesy of my best friend. She really did this with an apple and I couldn't stop laughing at her throughout the entire day. I just thought that at of all the death note characters, Mello would be the one most likely to do something like this

**DIRTY APPLE**

**Summary:**_** A short one-shot about Mello doing something stupid while glaring at Near. He really needs to learn to pay attention. Matt's POV.**_

Mello was glaring at Near again. This always happens. He really needs to learn to calm down. All that excess energy inside him is just gonna burst out one of these days and then bye bye Mello. He definitely needs an outlet.

He should take up a hobby.

Maybe kickboxing. That would definitely appeal to him.

But I'm getting side tracked.

We're in the cafeteria right now. And I'm trying my hardest to get Mello to eat something other than chocolate for a meal. Seriously does he have any idea of how bad that crap is for him to eat every day? Anyway, I've kidnapped his secret stash until he gets atleast one good meal inside his stomach.

But do I get any thank you's for my concern for him? No. Not a one. All he's focused on is Near. Well…I guess it could be worse though.

At least he's eating while he's glaring.

I'm watching him carefully because he's been known to fake his way out of eating his daily non-chocolate meal. Crazy idiot.

Today it's 2 legs of fried chicken, some corn, some broccoli with cheese, an apple and a small container of milk. Personally, I think it looks pretty good.

Mello likes to talk with his hands at times, so when he picks up his apple and begins to speak, I'm already preparing myself to duck so I can evade the flying fruit. His hands sling from side to side, up in the air to being flung straight down by his sides. That's when I hear the apple hitting the ground.

The poor fruit. This floor is disgusting. Oh sure, they clean it every night, but you try keeping it clean during the day with 70 kids who've been tracking mud around all day walking on it every meal time.

Mello leaned down and plucked the soiled fruit from the ground and grimaced at the dirt and fuzz covering. I don't even want to know what that green thing stuck to it is. Thankfully, I'm smart enough not to ask.

Mello sighed as he examined the fruit and then gave me an apologetic smile. Somehow, I be the planned that so he wouldn't have to eat the apple. I let out a sigh and shake my head, but still smile at him and he knows all is forgiven.

He goes back to his meal, setting the apple on the table in front of his tray.

Man, he really does have a one track mind. As soon as the apple business is over with, he goes right back to his complaints about Near.

Suddenly he turned his attention back to his plate, glaring at it even harder than he had been at Near.

"I'm gonna pretend that _this,_" suddenly he picks up one of the chicken legs, smiling maniacally at it, "is Near's face!" Then, to my horror, he rips all the meat from the bone and shoves it in his mouth.

I'm not sure if that meant that he wanted to attack Near, or make out with him.

To be honest, I'm not quite sure which one is scarier either.

He continues to mangle his food before throwing it in his mouth and eating it ferociously. I gulp at the monstrous way he's eating his food, but can't _really_ complain. I mean, he is eating it at least.

Halfway through he turns his glare back on Near, while still eating in the same way. It's actually rather frightening. I hope Near is smart enough to steer clear of Mello today.

Then, I watch in horror as Mello, in his focused rage, picks up his dirty apple and shoves it in his mouth with a loud crunch. I shouted and reached out to stop him knowing I was already too late.

Mello freezes at my scream and stares at me, apple still at his mouth. I can see the exact moment it hits him. His eyes cross as he stares down at the apple touching his lips, frozen at the contact.

I pull my hands back to cover my mouth as I feel the laughter bubbling up. I know better than to laugh at this. I really do. But as his face turned green, I just couldn't help it. I burst out laughing as Mello spits out the chunk of apple and starts wiping his tongue off on his sleeve. The look on his face had been priceless.

I couldn't force myself to stop laughing even as he stood and gave me the most horrifying glare I've ever seen.

I wore the black eye with pride.

It was so worth it.


End file.
